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Module 4: Intro
Module 4:

Selecting Specific Situations

Estimated Time to Complete this Module:
3 minutes to 60 minutes depending upon how many “Situations” you select

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Select Situation
Click on the situation you would like to view ...
Click on the situation you would like to view

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M4 : Sit 1

Situation 1:
How do I manage “public” versus “private” family information?

"I am planning to tell my child about the conception but I don’t really want them to tell anyone else about it."

What can I do?

M4 : Sit 2

Situation 2:
Still Nervous about Telling

“I completed Module 3 but I am still nervous about telling my child”.

What can I do?

M4 : Sit 3

Situation 3:
Subsequent Telling Conversations – More Information

After the initial Telling Conversation, how and when do I begin the Subsequent Telling Conversations? And is there a “good” way to do this?

M4 : Sit 4

Situation 4:
My donor is known (or anonymous) to me

How do I manage my TELL Plan with the donor?

What do you recommend?

M4 : Sit 5

Situation 5:
Telling Children of Different Ages

“My children are at different ages. How does the telling work best when there are children at different developmental stages?”

M4 : Sit 6

Situation 6:
Initial telling does NOT go well

“What if the initial telling conversation does not go well?

Then, what do I do?”

M4 : Sit 7

Situation 7:
I am worried about half-or-full siblings’ question

“What if my adolescent wants to find out about the donor—or any half (or full) siblings”.

What do I do?

M4 : Sit 8

Situation 8:
The words I did NOT want to hear –I’ve heard

“My child just said, “You are NOT my mom (or dad)”.

Now, what do I do?

M4 : Sit 8 Message from Harold D. Grotevant

Harold D. Grotevant, PhD
Professor & Rudd Family Foundation Chair in Psychology
Department of Psychology & Brain Science
Center for Research on Families
University of Massachusetts Amherst

M4 : Sit 9

Situation 9:
When to seek help from a professional

American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Professionals webpage: Click Here

M4 : Sit 10

Situation 10:
What about Parent’s Health?

“OK...my child knows and is doing OK. But I feel emotionally drained”.

What can I do?

American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Professionals webpage: Click Here

M4 : Sit 11

Situation 11:
My child says “Donor Dad” (or) “Donor Mom”

“I asked my child not to use the term ‘dad’ or ‘mom’ when they talk about the donor. However, I heard my adolescent child saying “my donor mom (or dad)”. I felt really hurt.What do I do in this situation?”

M4 : Sit 12

Situation 12:
Donor Sibling Registry

“What is the Donor Sibling Registry? Is it legitimate? And, if so, should I use it?”

Click Here for Donor Sibling Registry

M4 : Sit 13

Situation 13:
Donor Conception Network

“I‘ve heard only a bit about the Donor Conception Network.

Who is in this group?”

Click here to visit Donor Conception Network

Click the GREEN button to Complete Module 4 and Exit the TELL Tool.
Then, you will be taken to the Dashboard where you will have access to your Telling Plan, Resources & the Evaluation Surveys.
Remember, you will need to complete the Evaluation Surveys as soon as possible.
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Team & Acknowledgements
TELL Tool Team & Acknowledgements

Research Team:

Agatha M. Gallo, PhD, RN, FAAN
University of Illinois, Chicago

Valerie Gruss, PhD, APRN, NP-BC, FAAN
University of Illinois, Chicago

Martha Driessnack, PhD, RN, PPCNP-BC
Oregon Health & Science University

Hal Grotevant, PhD
University of Massachusetts, Amherst

Susan C. Klock, PhD
Northwestern University

Lauri Pasch, PhD
University of California, San Francisco

Alana Steffen, PhD
University of Illinois, Chicago

Financial Support:

Financial SupportAssociationof Women’s Health, Obstetric, and Neonatal Nurses

National Institutes of HealthGrant R34 NR019278-01

Special Appreciation
To the many parents and children that participated in our prior research.
To the many organizations and institutions that supported this project in a multitude of ways.

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