"TELL Plan"
Child 1-7 : Step 1
Child 1-7 : Decision Point 1
Child 1-7 : Step 2
Child 1-7 : Step 2 : Language Recommendation
Child 1-7 : Step 2 : Language for process
Child 1-7 : Decision Point 2
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How to tell ?
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Families
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Families Formed
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Loved
Child 1-7 : KP 1
Child 1-7 : KP 2
Child 1-7 : KP 3
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Full Attention
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Length of time
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling Example
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Alicia prepares
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Jen and Eric prepares
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Chat
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Alicia's talk
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Jen and Eric prepares
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Chat 2
Child 1-7 : Decision Point 3
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2 BOOK
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2 ONLINE
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 3
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 4
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 5
Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 6
Child 1-7 : Decision Point 4
Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where
Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where 2
Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where 3
Child 1-7 : Decision Point 5
Child 1-7 : Good Job!
Child 1-7 : Step 6 : Response
Child 1-7 : Step 6 : Response
Child 1-7 : Additional Support ?
Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Message From Dr. Martha Driessnack
Another Age ?
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"TELL Plan"
"TELL Plan"
Chose Your Child's Age Range
Children 1-7 years
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Child 1-7 : Step 1
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 1:

Who?

One or both parents or others

Child 1-7 : Decision Point 1
Children 1-7 Years

Who will participate in the initial telling conversation ?









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Child 1-7 : Step 2
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 2 :

What ?

Language

Child 1-7 : Step 2 : Language Recommendation
Children 1-7 Years

Step 2:
Language recommended

Donor

  1. Donor
  2. Special person/woman/man
  3. Eggs/sperm/embryo Provider
  4. Generous helper
  5. Generous woman/man
  6. Donor’s name, such as “Jessica” or “James”
  7. Man/woman/people who gave
  8. Helper

Egg, Sperm, or Embryo

  1. Egg or sperm
  2. Seed(s)
  3. Special ingredient(s)
  4. Tiny part(s)
  5. A piece of daddy/ a piece of mommy
  6. Missing part(s)
  7. A gift
  8. Special cells (embryo)
  9. Embryo

Uterus

  1. Garden
  2. Special home/place
  3. Uterus
  4. Womb
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Child 1-7 : Step 2 : Language for process
Children 1-7 Years

Step 2:
Language recommended

Process or Treatment

  1. “tiny part(s) that mommy and daddy needed were provided by doctors with the help of special people/a special person”
  2. “mommy and/or daddy got the special part they needed from a generous person with the help of doctors with special tools”
  3. “we used a donor’s sperm (or egg), which was placed inside mommy and then you grew”
  4. “daddy’s seeds weren’t going to make a baby, so we went to get some seeds from a man who had lots”
  5. “mommies got a part they needed from a special man with the help of doctors to have you”
  6. “daddy’s sperm was missing/did not work well, so we got special sperm from a man with the help of doctors and nurses”
  7. “mommy needed help to replace a special part to have a baby”
  8. “mommy and daddy’s bodies worked differently than other people’s bodies and we needed help”
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Child 1-7 : Decision Point 2
Children 1-7 Years
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What language will you use for donor, sperm, egg or embryo?



How will you describe the treatment that took place?



Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How to tell ?
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3:

How to Tell?

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Families
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Discuss Types of Families

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Families Formed
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Discuss How Your Family was Formed

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : How ? Loved
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Tell Your Child How Much They are Wanted & Loved

Child 1-7 : KP 1
Children 1-7 Years
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1st Point

Child 1-7 : KP 2
Children 1-7 Years
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2nd Point

Child 1-7 : KP 3
Children 1-7 Years
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3rd Point

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Full Attention
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Give Your Full Attention

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Length of time
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Length of Time

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling Example
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 3: How?

Telling EXAMPLES

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Alicia prepares
Children 1-7 Years

Alicia prepares for her initial TELL Talk with her son, Jordan.

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Jen and Eric prepares
Children 1-7 Years

Jen and Eric get ready for their initial TELL Talk with Caleb.

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Chat
Children 1-7 Years

Pause
for
TELL CHAT

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Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Alicia's talk
Children 1-7 Years

Alicia’s initial TELL Talk with 3-year-old Jordan.

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Jen and Eric prepares
Children 1-7 Years

Jen’s and Eric’s initial TELL Talk with Caleb.

Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Telling examples : Chat 2
Children 1-7 Years

Pause
for
TELL CHAT

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Child 1-7 : Decision Point 3
Children 1-7 Years
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Building on the language you selected in Step 2, create 2-3 key content sentences for your initial Telling Conversation.
Include:
1st: Many types of families
2nd: How your family was created
3rd: How much you love your child.




Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies

Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies :
Using Children's Books

Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2 BOOK
Children 1-7 Years
Examples of Children's Books to use as a LEAD-IN.
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Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 2 ONLINE
Children 1-7 Years
Children’s Books:
Online Resources for Parents

1. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Professional Group provides a “Bookshelf” for Parents with information about Children’s Books.
See: Click Here to read.

2. Librarian Patricia Sarles, MA, MLS, has developed an extensive Blog.
See Click Here to read.

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Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 3
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies:
Creating a Song

Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 4
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies:
Using Photos and Videos

Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 5
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies:
Incorporating Drawings

Child 1-7 : Step 4 : Supplemental Strategies 6
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 4:

Supplemental Strategies:
Creating a Fairytale

Child 1-7 : Decision Point 4
Children 1-7 Years
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Decision Point
STEP 4:



Which Supplemental Strategies will you likely use in your initial telling conversations?

Please click on the box for the strategy or strategies that you will likely use








Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where
Children 1-7 Years

Step 5:

When & Where

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Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where 2
Children 1-7 Years

Step 5:

When & Where

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Child 1-7 : Step 5 : When & Where 3
Children 1-7 Years
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Step 5:

Where and When:

Final Thoughts

Child 1-7 : Decision Point 5
Children 1-7 Years

Decision Point:



Where and when will you carry out the initial telling conversation?

Where?





When?

(Please enter if this is days or months. Example: "7 days" or "1 month")

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Child 1-7 : Good Job!
Children 1-7 Years
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Child 1-7 : Step 6 : Response
Children 1-7 Years

Step 6:

Responses and Replying:
Young Children

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Child 1-7 : Step 6 : Response
Children 1-7 Years

Subsequent Telling Conversations

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Child 1-7 : Additional Support ?
Children 1-7 Years
Do I need to seek additional support or help?

You know your child.
- Reach out if the behaviors or emotional responses seem unusual, exaggerated, and persistent.

Know yourself as a parent.
- Every parent has strengths and weaknesses.
- If you need help or support, do not hesitate to reach out.

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Child 1-7 : Step 3 : Message From Dr. Martha Driessnack
Children 1-7 Years

Martha Driessnack PhD, RN, PPCNP-BC
Emeritus Faculty
School of Nursing
Oregon Health & Science University

Another Age ?
Click to select another age group
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Patricia Hershberger, PhD, RN, FNP, FAAN

Email: phersh@uic.edu

Office Phone: 312-996-1305

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